It's hard to wait sometimes. Especially when what's in the oven smells so good while it's baking....
Did I say I had this waiting thing figured out? If I did, boy was I wrong. Disappointment comes like a gust of wind taking the breath right out of me sometimes.
I was doing well trusting God with my desires and my heart. It was actually kind of great. Special even, because it was like a sweet little secret between His heart and mine. But then it was put to words, perhaps a gesture of taking things into my own hands (again), and I voiced my plan. It was not well received, but at least it wasn't hurled into oblivion, either.
That was last night. Then this morning, I burned a cake. And by burned, I of course mean charcoaled, destroyed, nearly set ablaze... You get the idea. I've never had a cake turn out so badly. I love to bake.
Fitting, really. Something went wrong with the batter and it overflowed from my favorite bundt stone, right on to the oven floor. Billows of white smoke filled my house and now I smell like burnt chocolate, too.
It seems like there isn't a single life scenario that doesn't merit a metaphor, and this one is practically begging for it. I need more time to figure it all out, but here's my best outlook on it so far:
Like the cake, I was busy baking away in the oven of God's timing. Maybe I thought I could help things along a little by bubbling up with my own recipe. Maybe I thought the Baker needed a little prompting. Perhaps I thought things would hasten and turn out just right if I didn't have to "cook" for so long, or in such high heat.
So, I did bubble up. I didn't wait for the Baker to tell me it was time. And in the process I got burned.
I see how, even in Scripture, God will orchestrate situations in our lives to strengthen us and change us. To refine us. He allows us to make mistakes as opportunities to teach soft hearts. Even hard hearts, for that matter. There is no ingredient in our lives He's not willing to use. It's always for our best. It's always for His Glory.
He knew my heart was tender in this area of my desire. The cake was still in the process of baking. He allowed me to overflow onto the oven floor...causing a mess and even some tears. But I know that He's not through with me yet. He's able to clean up the mess and start again.
The best part is, He's not holding it over my head as some kind of failure. Our God in Heaven is so sweet that I know He'll mend my broken heart and keep on baking.
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